"Normal" Sucked…I Don't Want to Go Back and Neither Do You

by Alishia Wright

The ongoing pandemic has changed me in many ways. Personally, I’ve taken  it as an opportunity to focus on my health and wellness, completely altering my lifestyle for the better. Professionally, I’ve taken a step forward in my career and transitioned to a new job with an amazing organization. Throughout the last several months I’ve also made necessary adjustments to my life in order to protect my mental health and peace. More accurately put, the pandemic has  forced me to change my life. And you know what?? I don’t want to go back to “normal.”

In the “before-times,” I was all about the hustle. I worked a lot, volunteered at church, led a small group with my husband, took lots of workshops, volunteered with other orgs, coordinated meetings outside of work, was part of book clubs (yes, plural), and in general tried to be everything for everyone all of the time. Therefore I grew to be exhausted all of the time. And, honestly, my marriage suffered for all my time away from home, as did my health and wellbeing. 

Then the pandemic happened. Everything I was doing couldn’t be done anymore because it all happened in-person. I had to stop. I was forced to stop. At first, my addiction to busyness propelled me in my health and wellness journey. As time has gone on, though, I’ve purposefully slowed down. I’ve found a new sense of mindfulness, allowing for myself more time for rest and relaxation, which I previously didn’t realize  I desperately needed. 

In the spring, the world started to open up again, and I found myself feeling a bit sad. Not because I in any way  enjoyed the initial pandemic-induced rise in fear and anxiety that has now spiked again with the rise of the delta variant, but because I feared that the calmness, prioritization of rest, and inner peace  I had found was going to go away. I realized, though, that it doesn’t have to be that way. All that non-stop busyness that I was forcing upon myself prior to the pandemic? I didn’t have to go back to that. I could decide to make these improvements  permanent. I could consciously refuse to go back to “normal.” 

So I sat down and took the time to actually write out what I wanted to build my life around, pandemic or no pandemic, and reflect on where all my time went in the “before-times.” I looked at each activity one by one and if it didn't align with the key areas I wanted to focus on, I gave it up. For the things I identified that I wasn’t actively working towards but did align with how I want to live my life, I started taking steps towards healthily implementing them. And let me tell you, it has been glorious!! That inner peace I found in the midst of the pandemic — it’s still here. I’m spending more purposeful time at home, intentionally scheduling quality time with my husband and fur child. I’m still able to take care of my physical and mental health, and I’m not nearly as exhausted as I once was. 

The thing is, I’ve talked a lot about this with other folks in the nonprofit space recently, and what I’ve found is that a lot of people feel the same way! Many don’t want to go back to the old “normal,” either. They, too, don’t want to go back to feeling under-valued, overworked, exhausted, and generally dissatisfied in the unavoidable overlap of their personal and professional lives.

So, friends, consider this your official permission slip to not go back. It’s A-ok to let those things go that didn’t bring you joy or fulfillment before. You can re-define success in terms of how you want to live your life. I encourage you to go through your life and Marie Kondo that sh*t! Take out a piece of paper and brain dump all the things you used to do. Then write down those things that you actually enjoy, the ones that give your life meaning and joy, no matter how big or small of ways.

Whatever is in common between the two parts, keep it. Whatever distracts you from prioritizing the things that truly give your life meaning and joy, throw that junk out. You don’t need it. You don’t have to be the one to do those things that don’t bring positivity to your life. And maybe it doesn’t need to be done at all. I think as you go and do this work, you’ll be surprised where you end up. I know I was.

The pandemic has certainly sparked meaningful change within myself, and I’m going to go ahead and guess it has done the same for you in some capacity or another. And you know what? I think it’s a good thing. It has helped change us and how we go about our day-to-day lives in some really important ways. Let’s stop fighting that change and instead welcome it with open arms. The “before-times” weren’t that great anyway.

- Alisha Wright -