At the Grown-Up Table: Tips for Being the Youngest in Your Workplace
by Bethany Lenderink
I spent part of my childhood growing up in Manassas, Virginia. The idea of “Southern Manners” is no myth, and as a child I was taught etiquette. One of the biggest lessons was to respect my elders. An elder was automatically an authority figure, and authority figures were always to be revered. They were referred to as “Sir,” “Ma’am,” or “Miss,” or by their title and last name (ex. Mr. Johnson or Mrs. Doe). If they asked me to do something, I did it with a smile. If I had to make a request, I did so with a please and a thank-you, and if my request was denied, I thanked them for that too.
While I didn’t carry every rule of Southern etiquette with me into adulthood, the idea of respecting my elders has been deeply ingrained. I naturally default to people who are older than me. And in areas like school, that tendency served me well.
It has served me less well in the workplace.
Somewhere along the way, I started believing that my youth equated to a lack of knowledge and an inability to make valuable contributions to my work environment. I started believing that if someone was older than me, it automatically meant they were better - their ideas were better, their answers were better, their opinions were better. In my mind, there was a direct correlation between age and value.
What did this look like in the workplace? It looked like holding my tongue during meetings because I didn’t want to speak over someone older than me. It looked like asking permission for even the smallest changes in projects because I felt like I wasn’t experienced enough to make executive decisions. It looked like not offering up my own ideas because I was sure they weren’t as good as the ones my older colleagues were suggesting. It looked like intentionally silencing myself.
It took me a long time (and a lot of encouragement from my supervisor) before I was comfortable offering my own ideas and opinions, and my age remains a source of insecurity for me in the workplace. But I learned that just because I’m young doesn’t mean my contributions are any less valuable than those of someone older than me. My youth enables me to bring a different perspective to each project, to approach things with fresh eyes, and to be innovative and creative.
So, if you’re like me and often feel like a kid sitting at the grown-up table, I encourage you to keep four things in mind.
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1. Trust your own abilities.
When I first started working, I was hesitant to put my own ideas forward and often sought approval for work that didn’t necessarily require it. I was always looking for a gold star, or an A+, or some other way to confirm I had done a good job. This is pretty common behavior, especially for recent graduates and newcomers to the workforce, because we’ve spent the vast majority of our lives basing our success on the feedback we received from our teachers, mentors, coaches, etc. If you’re anything like me, there’s also a level of Imposter Syndrome at play. “What do I know? I’m only 26!”
Remember, you know what you’re doing. You’re the one who has knowledge in your field. You’re the one who trained in the skills you’re using. You invested time, effort, and probably money to gain the skills you have, so trust in those investments.
This isn’t to say that you can’t learn from those who have more experience from you. Because you can, and you should. However, whether you’re presenting a new idea, showing a finished project you worked on, or just offering information, trust that you’ve put the work in and you know your stuff.
2. You are bringing a fresh perspective.
When you’re one of the youngest in your workplace, you’re bringing in a new perspective. Maybe you work in the communications field and you can think of ways to connect with a younger audience. Maybe you work in the medical field and you’ve been taught a new procedure method. Maybe you work in computer programming and you’re aware of a software that can accomplish a task faster.
The point is that you see and interact with the world in a different way than your older colleagues. And the different experiences you’re bringing to the table are just as valuable. Don’t be afraid to share your perspective. You’ll be surprised at the results.
3. Traditional doesn’t always mean practical.
One issue I noticed when I started working is that people are fond of tradition. We do things a certain way just because “that’s how it’s always been done,” regardless of if there’s a better way to do it.
Let me give you an example. Shortly after starting one of my first jobs, I was made the lead graphic designer for a small publication. Each issue of this newsletter was 10 pages long and also included a single-page, loose-leaf insert. The insert listed all of our upcoming events for the following month and included a form our members could mail in to register for an event.
This insert was a problem for a number of reasons:
It cost more, both in printing and in mailing, to include a separate insert, rather than just adding pages to the newsletter.
The registration form counteracted our efforts to encourage online event registration (and no one actually used the form anyway).
The single page limited our space, and the content looked dense and cluttered.
At the time, one of our annual goals was to update the newsletter to make it more modern and accessible to our readers. In light of this, I quickly identified the Event Page insert as something that needed to go. My suggestion was to include a visual calendar within the newsletter and add an additional page to provide more in-depth descriptions of key events.
One of my coworkers immediately pushed back. Her reasoning: “But we’ve always had the insert. People look for the insert.” After I explained my own reasoning and showed her some sample pages of what the new calendar would look like, she was quick to agree that a new format would be more effective.
Sometimes tradition can blind us to what isn’t working. The insert was impractical, but because that’s how it had been done since the publication was first started (at a time when online registration wasn’t even an option), no one was willing to question it.
So if you see a tradition that should be improved, speak up. Chances are that your colleagues were caught up in the routine and will be open to change.
2. Be willing to learn.
While it’s important to be confident in your abilities, it’s also important to remember that there’s a difference between confidence and arrogance. Confidence is doing what you’ve trained to do and doing it well. Arrogance is believing you have nothing left to learn.
We’ve often heard that age brings wisdom, but I don’t think that’s true. Age brings experience, and experience - combined with knowledge - brings wisdom. Because we’re young, we have a lot of knowledge, but not as much experience. Listen to the people who have more experience than you do. Ask them questions. Ask them about tricks they’ve learned, mistakes they’ve made, advice they’ve received, and advice they’d give. Get their perspective on your own ideas. Talk to them.
Learn from their experiences as well as your own.
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Being the youngest isn’t always easy. It can often feel like your age limits the value of your contributions, but it doesn’t. You are not just a kid at the grown-up table. You are a professional in your field with learned and valued skills whose voice deserves to be heard. With an innovative outlook and a curious mind, you can add much to your workplace while still continuing to grow and learn.
